Yay for double digits! Day 10!

Describe your most embarrassing moment.

Not surprisingly, the first one that comes to mind involves my bowels. It's not having doctors put cameras up there, or nurses telling me I need to fart after having my colonoscopy (they inflate your bowels using air, and you can get air embolisms (I think that's the issue?) if you don't get it all out, so they stand there and wait until you unleash the beast.

Those don't embarrass me, because they're medical people, and they get paid significant amounts of money to deal with my poop factory and associated gas plant. That's their bad.

I wouldn't really call this my most embarrassing moment (as Jes pointed out as I told her today's topic, I don't really embarrass easily), just the one that jumped immediately to mind:

Every year, my Dad's extended family takes a vacation to Aspen Grove, a family camp up past Sundance in Utah. It's got a lot going for it; there are hikes (if you're into that), child care is provided (assuming you have them, and they're not actively vomiting on other children ((which is actually a pretty common occurrence, given how many kids they have running around in those gulags))), lots of family to visit, tons of activities, brief classes in things like pen turning, pottery, art, religion, boondoggles, etc.

One thing Aspen Grove does not do well is food. Now, I can understand this, because they're catering to hundreds of people at a time, and you can't make really high quality food for that many people. It would be a logistical nightmare, as well as expensive. And this is a BYU affiliated camp. BYU does some things incredibly well. Cost/Value for education, it's essentially impossible to beat if you're Mormon. Providing jobs for students, they're right there (even if it's mostly minimum wage, they still give students the opportunity to work, which is fairly uncommon in a lot of universities). Cooking some delicious food, well that's a swing and a miss. It's palatable, but as ABC points out, there are rocks that are palatable under certain circumstances.

The food BYU (and by extension, Aspen Grove) makes isn't great. It's not going to kill you, but if you're looking for flavor, it's not really the place to go.

For whatever reason, when we go to Aspen Grove usually coincides with when I decide I'm going to start eating salads. One particular year, I think I was 13 or 14, I had eaten probably a little too much salad, and it had probably been touched by one too many a sick child in the buffet line ahead of me, and it was not sitting well. I was talking with some new-made friends (other teenagers I'd met that week and had been bonding with), some of them of the attractive female persuasion, when I thought I'd surreptitiously pass the gas that the salad was churning out in me.

It was not gas.

If you don't like fecal descriptions, I'm not sure why you're still reading this blog, but you've been warned. Maybe skip the next paragraph.

The main problem was that my underwear was not being as absorbent as I would hope it would be in this situation. Lines of brown liquid (it was basically brown water) began running down my leg, and, of course, I was wearing shorts. Luckily, we were standing about 10 feet away from one of the three public restrooms in the camp, and I very awkwardly, and squishily made my way to the bathroom, removed my clothing and proceeded to clean myself as well as I could.

I don't know if those women-folk saw me, I don't remember if anyone commenting on it, or mentioning it, but then again, you probably wouldn't talk to the kid who pooped his pants about pooping his pants.

That was pretty embarrassing.

I'm not sure it's the most embarrassing thing I've ever experienced, but it's the one my brain remembers most clearly, so...hope you enjoyed hearing more about my bowels?

Stay tuned for more?